queercrip cat connoisseur

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
rotaesshinies
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It has happened.

I have purchased Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus

Will provide updates

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IT’S HERE

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I’m going to start it pretty soon. I’m for some reason locked out of my student account and email and IT was no help as usual, so what is there to do except read a parody romance novel written specifically to spite J.K. Rowling?

Chuck Tingle has more or less become a meme because of his bizarre titles and covers and because of the Hugo fiasco, but I’ve heard relatively little about what it’s like to actually read his work and I frankly have no idea what to expect or if I should go into this with expectations at all

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This book is...surprisingly easy to take seriously as a book. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. But it’s like. A Book and not just an extended joke. Like on some level it’s not particularly terribly written nor does the plot like, completely exist in service to the...whatever humor is derived from the self-aware absurdity of the premise

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AFSGFBCHH??

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I love that he’s not even described as a humanoid dinosaur. He’s just sexy goth tattooed Severus snape and he’s also a parasaurolophus and we are left to just figure it out

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I have to talk about what is going on with the worldbuilding. Like this is a parody. Of Harry Potter. But there’s an entirely different magic system and....everything???

In summary

  • there doesn’t appear to be a statute of secrecy type thing magic is just fully integrated with the modern world and modern technology
  • Harriet is a wizard, but that means that she creates spells by typing them out in long manuscripts, which on one level is a nod to the book publishing industry but on another level is kind of interesting in of itself
  • there’s a??? spellcasting industry??
  • there are different types of magic users other than wizards, and they appear to be based on the d&d classes
  • or at least, bards exist and they are distinct from wizard
  • the dinosaur is a bard
  • Bigfeet exist and they are integrated with modern society
  • there are sentient motorcycles and no one finds this in any way unusual
  • THE DINOSAUR IS A BARD?!?!?!
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...Warlocks in this world get their powers from a pact with Chuck Tingle

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The fourth wall break is killing me.

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The sexy dinosaur is also trans

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As much as I love skillfully crafted satire that takes deft jabs at the flaws of the thing it’s lampooning, there’s also something charming about how every character in this book has a name blatantly and hilariously derived from a Harry Potter character regardless of how most of their roles in the story barely resemble anything like characters in Harry Potter.

...You know, I’m not even sure Chuck Tingle has read Harry Potter.

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I’m back to reading. Does chocolate milk have intoxicating effects on sentient motorcycles??

...sentences I never thought I’d write

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um im lowkey getting feels from this like there are some genuinely emotionally resonant bits in here what the fuck

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chuck tingle’s magic system is unironically better than jk Rowling’s I’m sorry

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I’m so sorry to sample the sex scene but. “sexualis secondus” just killed me. I have been pronounced dead by this book. im obliterated this is indescribable

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I.

I literally have no idea how to describe what I’m experiencing right now. Like this is a somewhat poorly edited parody adult dinosaur romance novel but. It’s genuinely?? Creative?? In a lot of ways???? And there’s a lot of heart to it, a lot of genuine powerful messages about identity and about art and creativity and the fourth-wall-breaking device is...I can’t explain it because that would spoil it but it’s actually pulled off so well?????

This is not like, a humorous joke story this guy did for Being a Little Shit and Spite reasons, it’s like actually in its themes and message a genuine “fuck you” to j.k. Rowling’s transphobia even though it’s this absolutely wild janky batshit story and I have never experienced anything like this in my LIFE

I did not expect my adhd little heart to be touched by understanding of my fears about creativity and writing and its place in my life. Not like this. What the fuck. What the fuck.

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FGDHXWGBKVGSSHBIIDQTVJKBSZVYSTVJKJVBXSGHXHVN

thiefofgenders
marisatomay

my brother has been criticizing me all day and he told me if i wasn’t happy i could go somewhere else so i wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s dinner so i took the massive bowl of pasta + special sauce i spent the last 2 hours making from scratch for the whole family and i left

marisatomay

it really is incredibly bold to mercilessly criticize the person who is not only making your dinner but also holding a knife

marisatomay

I sequestered myself in the other side of the house and ate my family-sized pasta from a mixing bowl using a serving spoon in the dark because the sun went down in the 2+ hours I spent stewing and I was too stubborn to turn on a light

marisatomay

the only person I shared my pasta with was my dad who on a conference call at the time and didn’t just stand there and watch my brother be an asshole like the rest of my family and since he came to me in my sanctuary with his bowl and asked nicely if he could have some pasta i did share with him

marisatomay

sometimes you’re an adult who has been quarantined with your parents, younger siblings, grandfather, and dog for the last 2 months because of a global pandemic and some nights you just have to take your pasta and Leave because you are an adult who knows when to tap the fuck out

rivkahstudies

OP thank you not only for the amazing image of you eating pasta in the dark and your father kindly pleading for your mercy but also a wonderful example of when to set firm boundaries and prioritize yourself bless u

lilsmunky
ladysparklefists

idk I just love how we Young People Today use ~improper~ punctuation/grammar in actually really defined ways to express tone without having to explicitly state tone like that’s just really fucking cool, like

no    =    “No,” she said. 

no.    =    "No,” she said sharply.

No    =    “No,” she stated firmly.

No.    =    “No,” she snapped.

NO    =    “No!” she shouted.

noooooo    =    “No,” she moaned.

no~    =    “No,” she said with a drawn-out sing-song.

~no~    =    “No,” she drawled sarcastically.

NOOOOO    =    “No!” she screamed dramatically.

no?!    =    “No,” she said incredulously.

allthingslinguistic

I’ve been calling this “typographical nuance” and I have a few more to add: 

*no* = “No,” she said emphatically. 

*nopes on out of here* = “No,” she said of herself in the third person, with a touch of humorous emphasis.

~*~noooo~*~ = “No,” she moaned in stylized pseudo-desperation.

#no = “No,” she added as a side comment.

“no” = “No,” she scare-quoted.

wtf are you kidding no = “No,” she said flatly. “And I can’t believe I have to say this.”

no no No No NO NO NO NO = "No,” she repeated over and over again, growing louder and more emphatic. 

nooOOOO = “No,” she said, starting out quietly and turning into a scream.

*no = “Oops, I meant ‘no,’” she corrected, “Sorry for the typo in my previous message.”

doodlesanddandelions

I cannot express how strongly I absolutely love language and writing and communication but if anyone asks why I will be showing them this post from now on

fizzylimon

this is great, but I got to “no no No No NO NO NO NO” and immediately started singing “mamma mia, mamma mia, mamma mia let me go”

headjudgelen

no no no nO (no no no)= “No,” she said, sticking to the status quo

thiefofgenders
spacemancharisma

my psychology professor be like “I don’t believe in nonbinary genders” and five minutes later refers to me as he, then she, then just by my name because it’s become increasingly clear that neither of those are correct even though I am not out in this class

spacemancharisma

dr [redacted]: I don’t believe in nonbinary genders

dr [redacted]: except for that fucker I have no idea what they’ve got going on

mike-peace

When your nb power level is so high that other people’s perception of reality start to malfunction.

thiefofgenders
yeoldenews

A sincere request from someone who has spent her entire adult life wishing people had kept better records…

In the coming weeks and months… RECORD WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Start a journal, take photos, keep a video diary, make a daily blog post, jot a few notes down in a day planner, whatever!

It is not very often that you can be certain that you’re living in a time that historians will study in detail.

The nightly news can tell us the facts, twitter can tell us the larger cultural trends, but no one can keep an accurate record of your daily life and honest thoughts during this crisis but you.

Are you scared to death? Write it down.

Are you still thinking this is being blown out of proportion? Write it down.

Are you still being forced to work and are pissed as hell about it? Write it down.

Did you see someone do something kind that made you smile? Write it down.

Is your grocery store completely out of toilet paper? Take a picture.

Is your normally bustling neighborhood eerily empty? Take a video.

Did you see a really funny plague joke on twitter? Write it down so you/your grandkids and/or future historians can have a laugh.

I have never successfully kept a journal in my entire life, but I’ve been keeping one since the 10th. Nothing fancy. Just a summary of my day in quarantine, what my family’s up to, today’s news and my current thoughts.

Even if it’s only for you to look back on this time honestly, without the bias of hindsight, you won’t regret doing it.

Future historians will thank you.